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G Force
Genre Family
Year: 2009

G-Force is about guinea pigs. Now if you're still with me, you understand that this live-action/animated cross-over is not taking itself too seriously... they're not just guinea pigs, they're secret agent guinea pigs. If you were expecting something in the arena of Quantum of Solace, you'll be sorely disappointed... while the two have their similarities - G-Force is strictly for the kids. Jerry Bruckheimer aka the big cheese, has produced loads of films from Beverly Hills Cop to the hugely successful Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

The man is a steamroller in the film industry, but is renowned for his action blockbusters and not half-wit, gimmicky 3D animated features with talking pets. He probably should have left the talking animal business to the straight-to-video phenomenon known as Air Bud and the 3D animation to Pixar and Disney. Instead, he took it upon himself to produce a movie with a disposable plot, paper-thin characters and a sugary action/adventure overload.

Perhaps the script wasn't intended for guinea pigs? Maybe a lame action movie script landed on Jerry's desk and he said... let's flip this on its head by making all the agents guinea pigs... wait for it... instead of penguins. Well, it could have just been one of those days? G-Force has all the bells and whistles when it comes to quality animation with a voice cast from heaven. Only someone like Bruckheimer could have convinced a Hollywood tiger like Nicolas Cage to play a mole with Sam Rockwell, Jon Favreau, Tracy Morgan, Steve Buscemi and Penelope Cruz as fluffy sidekicks.

G-Force was punted as a comedy in the tradition of Alvin & The Chipmunks. Thankfully the high-pitched singing was omitted, although could have made things funnier. The dialogue still sucks... even with comic veterans like Bill Nighy, Will Arnett and Zach Galifianakis thrown in to spice things up. The Wibberleys seemed like the perfect writing duo with both National Treasures, The Shaggy Dog and I-Spy under their belts. However, the comedy just wasn't up to scratch and this affected the overall enjoyment level of the film. G-Force is too over-the-top not to be a comedy and trying to propel a preposterous story with less comedy than Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle is like Bob Saget deciding to do pottymouth voice-overs for March of the Penguins in the name of comedy as witnessed in Farce of the Penguins.

The film's wafer-thin plot is tired, predictable and formulaic - taking elements from Transformers in an attempt to be suave. The live cast are mediocre and do their best under trying circumstances, while the voice cast have charisma, but stumble over lame one-liners all too often. There's no imagination, creativity or passion in G-Force, so the film-makers can't even fall back on lovable characters or a heart-warming story.

Movie goers see through the superficial gimmickry and besides the fluffy Tales from the Riverbank appeal and adrenalin-pumped Guinea Pig action, G-Force feels hollow and uninspired. This is a movie that will keep the kids glued to the screen, but it's going to have you looking at your watch and gnawing your knuckles. G-Force serves as a mind-numbing distraction from the rat race and will inspire a spike in guinea pig sales, but that's just not enough to warrant a viewing these days... 3D or not.

The bottom line: Half-witted.

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